Business Communication Strategies

Examples

Wordy: Employees who are driving to work should be encouraged to take mass transit.

Concise: Employees should be encouraged to take mass transit.

Wordy: In the interests of better meeting the needs of our customers, we have implemented an online ordering system.

Concise: To meet customer needs, we have implemented an online ordering system.

Wordy: There are a lot of members of our team who would like to move to short standing meetings.

Concise: Many members of our team would like to move to short standing meetings.

Examples

Wordy: It would be appreciated if you would approve the contract by May 1

Concise: Please approve the contract by May 1.

Wordy: Due to the fact that the CEO has called for more diversity in hiring, we will need to rethink our strategies for recruiting and hiring.

Concise: Because the CEO has called for more diversity in hiring, we need to rethink our recruiting and hiring strategies.

Intensifiers, adverbs that convey an additional degree of emotional context, are often unnecessary to the meaning of the message or can be removed for concision.

Examples

Wordy: I am really sorry about missing last week’s vital staff meeting.

Concise: I apologize for missing last week’s staff meeting.

Wordy: Very detailed-oriented and extremely productive staff have earned amazingly high bonuses this year.

Concise: Detail-oriented and productive staff earned high bonuses this year.

Passive voice is a sentence construction where the object of the action acts as the subject of the sentence. For clarity and concision, use active voice.

Examples

Wordy: The report was written by Zelda.

Concise: Zelda wrote the report.

Wordy: Taxes should be submitted by April 15.

Concise: Submit taxes by April 15.

Exception: When is passive voice appropriate? When you want to avoid assigning blame, and when you can create better flow within a paragraph by reordering a sentence to put the object before the subject.

Nominalizations, or nouns derived from a verb or adjective, force you to add another verb to create a complete sentence. Eliminating nominalizations can help with concision.

Examples

Wordy: The building services committee raised an objection to the plan to eliminate greenspace to allow for more parking.

Concise: The building services committee objected to the plan to eliminate greenspace to allow for more parking.

Wordy: Once you have created documentation for the situation, we will make a decision about next steps.

Concise: Once you have documented the situation, we will decide next steps.

Metadiscourse, or writing about your own writing or thought process, can almost always be deleted.

Examples

Wordy: I would like to point out that it has become clear that we need to analyze this situation more fully in order to understand it.

Concise: The situation requires further analysis.

Wordy: I would like to thank you for…

Concise: Thank you for…

Wordy: Through our research we were able to find…

Concise: We found…

Avoid rote business language, which tells your readers that you’ve used AI without careful editing, that your ideas might be as unoriginal as your use of language, and/or that you didn’t care enough to personalize your message. It also often adds wordiness.

Examples

Wordy: Per your request,…

Concise: As you requested,…

Wordy: Please be advised that the procedure for leave reports has changed.

Concise: We have changed the procedure for leave reports.

Wordy: Attached please find…

Concise: I have attached… or The attachments include…

Wordy: Thank you for your time and consideration.

Concise: Thank you for [something specific that you appreciate]

Psychology Today compiled a list of annoying corporate buzzwords to avoid, including “circle back,” “deep dive,” and “close the loop.” Likewise, Jack Appleman, in 10 Steps to Successful Business Writing, recommends replacing stuffy language with simple, straightforward words:

Stuffy	Straightforward
as per your request	as requested
assumption	belief
at the present time	now
cognizant of	aware of
commence, inaugurate, originate	begin, start
consummate	close
conversant with	familiar with
due to the fact that	because
encounter (verb)	meet
endeavor (verb)	try
evident	clear
furnish	provide
inasmuch as	because
in lieu of	instead of
in regard to	about
in the event that	if
in the neighborhood of	about, roughly, approximately
of considerable magnitude	large
on the occasion of	when
peruse	review, study
precipitated	caused
predicated on	based on
prior to	before
pursuant to	according to
subsequent to	after

Use gender-neutral nouns and pronouns when referring to groups or individuals; using “they” as a singular pronoun is now accepted usage, though some audiences may find it grammatically awkward.

Examples

Instead of: All salesmen must attend this week’s meeting.

More Inclusive: All sales staff must attend this week’s meeting.

Instead of: Every physician must complete his continuing education credits by the end of the fiscal year.

More Inclusive: Physicians must complete their continuing education credits by the end of the fiscal year.

Ask colleagues what names and pronouns they use, listen to what they say, and take notes if you’re worried you won’t remember.

When meeting new people, offering your pronouns can be a polite way to prompt them to offer their own.

Avoid personal details that have nothing to do with the issue at hand.

Examples

Instead of: We have just hired a disabled person, who will be Vice President of Sales and Marketing.

More Inclusive: We have just hired a new Vice President of Sales and Marketing.

More Inclusive: We have just hired a new Vice President of Sales and Marketing, who has a disability. We will need to review accessibility in some of our custom build software.

Instead of: The new African-American CEO flew in from France this morning.

More Inclusive: The new CEO flew in from France this morning.

Phrases like “person who uses a wheelchair,” or “person with HIV” emphasize the human being rather than prioritizing a disability or illness.

Keep in mind that some communities see their difference as central to their identity and may not use person-first language. In those cases, use a phrase like autistic people or LGBTQ+ people. When in doubt, ask someone what they prefer or do a quick online search to avoid causing offense.

Making snap judgements about people’s skills and knowledge based on who they are leads to mistakes. Don’t assume that your Gen Z colleague is entitled and selfish or that your Boomer colleague isn’t open to new ideas, and avoid stereotypes about members of racial and ethnic groups.

Example

Instead of: Consumers over 50, who are inexperienced with social media, may not be aware of the company’s new branding campaign.

More Inclusive: Consumers who are inexperienced with social media may not be aware of the company’s new branding campaign.

Examples

Writer focused: Tuesday is the only day that we can promise quick response to purchase order requests; we are swamped the rest of the week.

Reader focused: If you need a quick response, please submit your purchase order requests on Tuesday.

Writer focused: I know I’m late with the asset valuation report, but I haven’t been feeling well and I just haven’t had the energy needed to work through the numbers yet.

Reader focused: You will receive the asset valuation report on Monday at 8 a.m.—I haven’t been feeling well, but will work through the numbers over the weekend to ensure they are accurate.

Writer focused: I loved the sweater you gave me so much, thank you!

Reader focused: Thank you for the beautiful and warm sweater! You have a gift for finding thoughtful and useful presents.

Writer focused: When I reviewed this month’s sales report, I discovered the sales are much higher than the previous month.

Reader focused: Our sales doubled since last month, making us one step closer to achieving our quarterly goal.

Writer focused: Starting September 1, all employees will be required to use the new expense reporting software.

Reader focused: In order to process your reimbursements more quickly, we will be implementing more efficient expense reporting software starting September 1.

Sometimes writing with the reader’s point of view in mind means not using “you.” For example, when pointing out a mistake, avoid taking an accusatory tone.

Examples

Accusatory: You left an error in the table on page 109 of Coca Cola’s 2023 10K.

Polite: Please fix the error in the table on page 109 of Coca Cola’s 2023 10K.

Polite & Inclusive: We need to fix the error in the table on page 109 of Coca Cola’s 2023 10K.

Using “we” can also be an effective way to show your reader that you’re aligned and highlight shared values, concerns, goals, or vision.

Examples

Accusatory: You should be keeping up with your cyber security training.

Polite & Inclusive: We all need to complete our cyber security training to ensure that we don’t have any costly breaches.